Friday, June 15, 2012

End of the year

So it’s been a week since the last day of school—this means my first year of teaching successfully finished (!), but it also means a goodbye-exhausted heart.  Sometimes, especially recently, I wonder why I allow myself to go through this so frequently when I know how much I hate it…but who am I to say no, eh?  If He is calling me to a place and giving me the strength to go through it, I can’t say that it’s too much goodbye-ing, too much transition so I don’t want to do it.  Though I know this process well, it tears a bit on my already hurting heart with a new set of people I have grown to love and appreciate.  God has truly blessed me in so many ways this year in His wise and unexpected ways and the sadness right now is right and good because of how He has worked. 
As I’m sitting here wondering what words to use to try to explain what has happened this year, it seems there is so much to say that there is nothing to say…when the thoughts are rushing through your mind but none of them are full thoughts so they probably wouldn’t make much sense to anyone—that’s what is going on.  J  So I will just say that looking back lots of it looks like a blur, but a blur with clear pictures of beauty throughout.  The blur comes with the job of being a music teacher, comes with being busy, it comes with phases of adjustment in our lives.  But I have seen amazing growth and change in my students this year.  I have seen them think certain thoughts for the first time.  I have seen the transition from confusion to understanding in all kinds of situations.  I have seen students recognize talents they didn’t know they had.  I have seen kids shine as they selflessly use the abilities God has given them.  And those of you who know me well know that these are the things that make my heart smile…as I take time to rest and reflect this summer I pray to understand and see more.
I will be in Phnom Penh during our break from now until the beginning of August, so I will have more time for skype-ing and emailing and would love to talk to you.  Also, if you get the urge to visit South East Asia this summer, you are more than welcome to come by and stay with me! J